


Family Finally Found

by BadassIndustries



Series: Stories from the Adventure Zone Family [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Campaign: Balance (The Adventure Zone), Canon Compliant, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, F/M, Fake Marriage, Found Family, Humor and Fluff, M/M, Pre-Canon, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23482093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadassIndustries/pseuds/BadassIndustries
Summary: A series of interconnected short stories that span the entire adventure, showing little funny or fluffy moments, focused mostly on Lup, Taako and Barry.Pre-written, will be posted in chronological order, starting pre-canon.All found family and friendship focused for now, until the ships come into it canonically.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans & Lup & Taako, Barry Bluejeans/Lup, The Director | Lucretia & Lup, The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Series: Stories from the Adventure Zone Family [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529723
Comments: 50
Kudos: 52





	1. Barry muses on the Twins

** Sometime before the final selection for IPRE's very first Interplanar Mission **

The Twins are—strange.

Sharp, a little bit cruel. They take real delight in pushing people around, tricking them, glorying in their own superiority. But they’re also wonderful. Barry nearly cried when he tasted the brownies they made to celebrate getting through the second round of interviews. And they like nothing more than taking bullies down a peg, even though they’re constantly messing with people.

But unlike Grimaldis and his ilk, who want people to be scared and awed off them, the twins love it when people push back. When the shy historian slyly insulted them they fell over each other laughing. And yesterday, when Barry snapped at the twin who’d bumped into him they’d only grinned at him and disappeared the ink on his papers and jeans. Instead of a fight, Barry had gotten an arm around his shoulders and an invitation to join them for dinner. Barry couldn’t tell which one of the twins it was, but the distinction doesn’t seem to matter. What one knows, the other does too. But apparently he passed their test. He’s got an appointment tomorrow to talk with the braided hair twin, to work on the application of transmutation in the production of lab equipment. They might be strange and sometimes mean, but Barry’s got the feeling the twins might be pretty nice too.

There’s a lot of nice people here, honestly.Or you know, nice insofar as is possible in such a competitive situation.

Burnsides is nice, even if he has so much energy it makes Barry tired sometimes. And he fights, gets in brawls over everything. But he’s generally defending someone and he never gets mean.

There are a lot of people still in the running, even after rounds of exams and interviews. Barry hopes that at least some of the nice people will get in. He knows the Twins will make it through. He can’t imagine anyone stopping them, because they want this more than anything. Once the Twins set their eyes on something, they get it. That’s how it works. It worked with Barry’s preliminary thesis, the extremely experimental one he’d rather keep to himself for a bit longer, it worked for the icecream clearly labelled in the communal freezer of their dorm and he can’t imagine it’ll be any different for the positions on this mission. The Twins will be on this mission and Barry kind of feels good about that.


	2. Fashion Flair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early on in the Stolen Century, Lup finally convinces Lucretia to go shopping with her

Lup has had enough. In fact, she has had Enough in big screaming capital letters. Her clothes are threadbare and old or made with the sole purpose to survive mushroom toxin, or freezing cold, or whatever terrible horrors the planes feel fit to bestow on them. She's so over wearing rags. Was over it when she was still a child really. She swore to herself and her brother that they wouldn't ever have to do that again. This is so not keeping that promise. It's the worst. If she doesn't get something actually good to wear right now she's going to set something on fire.

She yells this into the echoing halls of the Starblaster. At least one door slams shut quickly. Cowards. But Lucretia actually cautiously puts her head around a corner, so not everyone here is a complete write-off.

"I need some paper, would you mind if--" says Lucretia in that soft, shy voice of hers, "Captain said we shouldn't go out alone just yet, even if the planet seems friendly..."

Lup can't believe her ears. Lucretia, volunteering for a shopping trip? A slow smile spreads over her face, the kind that makes Barry hide and Davenport reach for the fire extinguisher.

"Hells yes, girl's night!"

Lup ignores Lucretia's corrections that it's actually still day due to the planet's size and slow turn and pulls her out of the ship by her wrist. "So long suckers, we're going shopping!" She calls out over her shoulder. She's got so many plans.

In the end her shopping trip isn't quite shaping up as she envisioned, but still very fun. This plane doesn't really do much in the way of ready to wear, which makes sense given the wide diversity of race and size these folks got going on. That kinda kills Lup's dreams of browsing the racks and trying on everything new and finding something more exciting for Lucretia. It's more, talk designs and have it made later than changing room fun. Not that Lucretia doesn't seem ready to be a dreamkiller too. She thinks she doesn't need new clothes because her IPRE uniform is fine. And will remain fine since it resets to pristine conditions every fucking cycle. It's so boring.

Cretia's got something against standing out or something. Like she really likes blending in, or all looking the same. If she got her way, they'd probably all wear their uniforms always so everyone would always know they belong. Or maybe like, badges or arcane jewellery with their symbols on it. A nice division between us and them. And that's nice and clear, but _fashion_.

So far, all Lup has been able to talk her into has been basically a copy of her uniform. Maybe in a slightly different shade of red. They're standing on the fancy pedestal that holds the style lookbook and a great array of available fabrics, but Lucretia keeps shying away from anything fun. Lup tries again.

"No really babe, red's good and all, but with your skin you can go so much bolder!"

Lucretia's face closes of a little more. Right. Bold isn't really Cretia's MO. Lup changes tactics.

"Or maybe just cooler. You know, imposing. Plus it's super comfortable. I mean IPRE knew their way around a good uniform but fashionistas they were not."

Lucretia still does not look convinced. Time to pull out the big guns.

"With the right kind of robes you'll have pockets enough to carry around enough spare pens to satisfy even you."

That works. Lucretia smiles. When the clothes get delivered, Lucretia wears the deep blue robes to dinner and actually accepts the others’ compliments. She might not have wanted to join Lup's catwalk show-off moment, but it's a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia's journey is so fascinating. Also they're all friends! Fluff! And! Friendship!
> 
> Next up: Lup's thoughts about a certain Mr Bluejeans...
> 
> Let me know what you thought and as always, thanks for reading!


	3. Lup extorts kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup doesn’t give away favours for free. Not even to Barry. Now, what should she ask him in return for the favour she's doing him?

“Hey Lup, could I maybe borrow your notes on those luminescent algae? Mine got eaten by that acidic slime.” Barry trails off, looking at the air behind Lup’s right shoulder. He’s always so uncertain when talking to her. She tries to be nice, but honestly it’s also really funny.

“Sure you can borrow my notes,” she smiles broadly, “but it’ll cost ya.”

Lup doesn’t give away anything for free. Sure, they might be stuck in a fateforsaken loop, but that doesn’t mean people can start to take advantage of Lup’s kindness. She used to ask for real payment, but that doesn’t feel right anymore. And anyway, most resources on the ship are shared anyway. Still, it’s good for them to appreciate the value (or cost) of her help.

Barry looks like he’s patiently waiting for her to name her price, but he’s also fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket and slowly turning red. But that’s normal. All throughout training, Barry would go red whenever Lup or Taako smiled at him. That was back when he was still crap at seeing the difference between them. Nowadays Lup thinks he likes Taako better. Or at least, he seems more relaxed talking to Taako than to Lup. Maybe it’s just that Taako’s more consistent. Lup sometimes doesn’t know what she feels until she’s acting on it, Taako never has that problem. He shuts everything down and is completely unreadable, but at least he’s consistent.

“What to ask for in exchange of my incredibly valuable notes…” Lup ponders out loud, swiping her braid over her shoulder and treating him to a killer smile. Barry inches back, maybe in a joking manner. He might just be playing along with her. Or he’s actually scared of what she’ll ask. She really doesn’t know what to ask though. She can’t trust him to take over her kitchen duties, he’s got no clothes she wants, he already generously shares his books. She could ask for his labtime, but she’s not that cruel. The lab’s like oxygen for him. Nerd would die without it. Permanently. With the rest of the crew it’s easier. She gets favours from Magnus, the good stuff from Merle. She gets Davenport to pay her in curses. C’pnport has an extensive vocabulary which he sadly thinks isn’t properly captainy. Seeing him curse is hilarious, totally worth the cost of doing boring reports. Lucretia was harder too, at first. In the beginning, Lucretia was still so shy and closed off, completely hiding how fun she can be. So for the first few months, the price for passing the salt or saving her laundry was a highfive. That turned into dumb jokes and stories and now they have shopping trips and girls’ nights. It’s awesome. But high fives wouldn’t work, not for Barry. He shares a room with Magnus, he’s probably learned to highfive in his sleep. She looks at Barry again.

She could extort a hug from him. He looks soft. The kind of softness Lup and Taako dreamed of when they were teenagers barely getting by. Barry’s probably really nice to hug, soft and warm, but not tall enough to tower over her. But no. She can’t ask for hugs. Might make the nerd think she cares or something. Or that’s she’s sad and craving affection, or worse, that she doesn’t actually have a price for her notes. That she’s just giving a copout answer for appearance’s sake and that he can just ask her for anything. Not gonna happen. Hells no. Sure, Barry’s nice, but she’s not letting him get away with that. He’s also starting to look a bit scared, which is frankly insulting. What does he think she’s gonna do, steal his shoes? Well, if that’s the way he wants to play it. But it’s much more fun when he’s flustered than when he’s intimidated. Intimidation and fear is fine from random strangers, but not from Barry. She wants him to be impressed by her. Impressed and maybe a little fearful. But like, in a fun way. She flashes Barry Taako’s best mercenary smile and stares him right in the eye. She knows her price now.

“The use of my valuable notes, dr Bluejeans, will cost you a kiss.”

“W-what?” stammers Barry

“You heard me, Bluejeans, them’s the breaks. A kiss or no notes.” The more she thinks about it, the more she’s convinced this is a good idea. She hasn’t really been feeling the nightlife lately, but she does miss it, sometimes. Everyone on the plane seems so young. Young and so unaware of the world around them, unable to truly understand. Barry’s not. But he’s also choking on his own words. Lup takes pity on him. She doesn’t back down, she wouldn’t do that, but she taps one elegant finger on her cheek.

“Right here. How’s about it Barold?” She takes him in, sees him relax. Good. She doesn’t want to push him too far.

“Uh, okay Lup, if that’s what— if that’s the price,” Barry says and shuffles over. He puts one hand softly on her shoulder. She was right, he’s warm, even through the fabric of her satiny top. He leans up to brush his lips over her cheek and it’s barely anything but it’s still— nice. He smells nice too, pleasant under the sterile lab smell.

Yeah, this was a good deal. She’s gonna make this a regular price for him, she thinks, as they walk to the lab. He’s still a bit red, but he’s smiling. She’ll make sure he’ll need a favour again soon. There’s nothing she loves more than flustering nerds, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the Blupjeans begins! Prepare for obliviousness from both sides!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Up Next: Lup gets hugs. It's for Science!
> 
> Let me know what you thought and as always, thanks for reading!


	4. Hugs! For Science!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup feels the overwhelming need to hug Barry. For Science!

Lup is a good scientist. Lup is a friggin’ great scientist. She already was back home, but by now she’s freaking stellar. How could she not love science? So much of it is making things explode and then writing down how to do it again, but better. On occasion though, she also dabbles in the social sciences. In this case, she’s focusing on humanities in particular. Or rather, the study of one specific human. Lup has had a niggling thought, a hypothesis that keeps on bugging her and she wouldn’t be a good scientist if she didn’t properly test it. Maybe experimenting on her unknowing teammates could be an academic breach of conduct, but the ethical oversight committee got hungered along with the rest of their home, so who cares.

Some questions need to be asked so badly the end justifies the means. Lup opens her special notebook, the one that’s enchanted so only she can open it, and carefully writes:

“Hypothesis: Barry J. Bluejeans is soft.” She chews the pencil why she thinks. She has already observed tangential evidence, but no solid proof as of yet.

“Grounds for this hypothesis: 1) visual observation: he looks soft.

2) Second hand testimonial: a mongoose told me so.

She should probably define “soft” further. It’s more than his human squishiness or his friendliness, or that he looks like he’d give good hugs. But that way leads to bad science. Eliminate nebulous factors, focus on the documentable. Barry looks soft and huggable, it is possible to experiment and find out whether it’s true.

“Methodology,” Lup writes with a flourish. Generally this is her favourite part of setting up experiments. In this particular instance, there were some significant roadblocks. Disclosing her theories might influence her results, or at least her test subject. Also, no one can ever know how much of her time Lup spends wondering what it would be like to hug Barry.

Start small then. A comparison with the other humans might be best, just to rule out researcher’s bias. It wouldn’t be far to compare Barry to herself or Taako, who are Lup’s main datasets in this instance. They’re elves and also they could only dream of achieving Barry-like softness. Which she hasn’t proven yet, so she really should stop anticipating her results. Closing her notebook decisively, Lup leaves her room, neatly evading Taako’s boots on the floor, put there exactly to ensnare unsuspecting visitors and goes in search of her friend.

“Magno! High five!” she shouts as she sees Magnus wandering around. He’s hiding something behind his back, but Lup is willing to let it go in favour of collecting her data. Subject M. Burnsides, findings: large warm hand, calloused, not very high on the softness scale. About a 3, if she puts the scale from 1 to 10. Although 1 to 20 might allow for more nuance.

Lucretia’s next. Lup locates the cold, neglected tea, heats it up with a quick spell and puts it down carefully a safe distance away from Lucretia’s notebooks. When she holds up her hand, she gets a distracted high five, her usual reward for services rendered, before Lucretia continues her creepy simultaneous ambidextrous writing. Findings; certainly softer than magnus, but pencalluses. Lup needs to take Cretia to a manicure. Do they do hand massages? Lucretia needs a hand massage. The tension in her hands is out of this world. Also, Lup now has ink on her hand too. Dip. Lup takes a detour to clean her hands and also fix her hair, just because she feels like it. Then she knocks on Barry’s door. He opens after a while, with the quickly blinking eyes of someone who’s been hitting the books without a break far too long. Lup should really make him help her cook or something, to force him away from his desk. That might influence her research though, so better not. She’ll make Taako drag him out of the lab. She’s been staring too long, hasn’t she? He’s staring owlishly at her, so she must have been.

“High five,” she says, a little too rushed. Belatedly, she also raiser her hand. Barry high-fives her, since he’s not a monster, but the uncomprehending staring is still going on. Lup nods decisively, turns on her heel and strides away, head held high. Barry’s hand is soft, and warm, but it isn’t enough. She can’t be sure with so little contact. Inconclusive evidence. Still, she records her findings properly before hiding her notebook and going to find her brother. Together they can definitely gang up on Barry and force him out of the lab. She’ll continue her experiment in the morning, for now she has a nerd to bully into taking better care of himself.

~*~

Lup wakes up from vague visions of future research data. The dream was way too nice and comfortable and it’s driving her mad. This is why she needs to continue her research. As soon as she’s made it quantifiable she can put it aside and forget about it. She really doesn’t need to stay awake thinking about how to properly describe how soft Barry looks. Or how he smiled when even Taako had to admit that his supervised attempt at hollandaise sauce was at least passable. It’s all very distracting and she should really do something to pay him back for all the inconvenience he’s caused her. He’s even invading her dreams, so some petty revenge is definitely in order. She’s gonna make hot chocolate and she’s gonna use milk milk. Take that, Barold. Lup doesn’t bother to change out of her pyjamas. The team can handle seeing her in the kitchen in Taako’s hotpants and Lucretia’s fuzzy sweater. The sweater is really soft and Lup may wear it more often than Lucretia does, since Cretia likes her robes too much. Maybe Lup should try and replicate it. No wait, a croptop version of it. Crop tops are great. Everyone should wear crop tops. Barry would look great in a croptop. Maybe Lup should just cut off the bottom of all his shirts. That’d teach him to be so distracting!

Oh dip. The milk is definitely burning. Rookie mistake, Lup.

But maybe she can use this. It would require a sacrifice. She walks back to her closet, gets out the green skirt she loves but Taako hates. Looking away so she wouldn't have to see, she tears a large rip in the fabric. The horrifying tearing sound echoes in the silence. Lup stomps to the hallway, skirt in hand and slams her door to get everyone's attention.

"Attention,” she says in a very calm and extremely loud way that is sure to get everyone’s attention, “I burnt the milk and ripped my skirt and if I don't get a quality hug in 30 seconds I'm setting fire to this ship."

"Don't!" Comes from the other side of the ship in a panicked shout.

Barry rushes in, slipping a little in the corner because he's wearing the blue fluffy socks they got him for his 50th birthday.

Before she knows it, he's got her wrapped up in his arms. The skirt flutters to the floor. She's frozen, suddenly unable to do anything but blink in shock. She hadn't expected this. She hadn’t expected him to be so warm. Hesitating, she raises her arms to his waist. He's rubbing soothing circles on her back. Because Lup was supposed to be upset about something. But it's very hard to remember when she's suddenly all warm and Barry's face is pressed to her neck. Tentatively, Lup relaxes a bit and hooks her chin over his shoulder. It presses them a little closer. Barry's stubble tickles on her cheek and her ear. She can feel her ears twitching.

How long do normal hugs last? This felt very long but surely it's too soon to let go, right? Because Barry smells nice and Lup's finally beginning to relax and she couldn't really enjoy it the first few moments so those don't count. If she pressed in a little closer, she could hear his heartbeat. That's really data she should have. For her experiment. Which is why she's doing this. She presses her face into his collar and that's even better. It's like everything disappears except Barry's quiet breathing and his soft back under her hands and his smell and warmth all around her. Lup stays there, pressed close to Barry’s warmth and listening to his rushing heartbeat, until Barry moves his arms in a way that probably means the hug is over. It’s too soon, but Lup can deal. When they separate, Barry is sheepishly blushing, just like old times. Lup keeps a firm control over her own expression and just socks Barry in the shoulder.

“Thanks Barry, I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Lup,” he says and she fingerguns her way out of this situation so she doesn’t watch him shuffle back on his socked feet. It’s only when she gets back to her own room that she realises she completely forgot to collect her data. Lup can’t really mind it though. She’ll just have to find another way to get Barry to hug her. She’s resourceful, she’ll manage. And it won’t be a hardship to hug him again. At least a few times. Repeating experiments to get the same results is a basis of good science, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this was an excuse to write an entire chapter about hugging, why do you ask?
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! There's a few more shorts that are already done, commenting will absolutely help me remember this exists and to finish the rest. Tell me what you thought, your suggestions and how soft you would rate Barry on a scale from 1 to 10.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	5. Lup has a Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup is having a Feeling. Something warm and fuzzy and explody in her chest and she doesn't know why. She's only looking at Barry emerging from the sea right now, so there's really no reason for her heart to be racing. Right?

"Taako."

Taako ignores the call, far too involved with catnapping in the sun of a non-hostile plane with a beach. It had been far too long since the beach year and he’s going to wring every bit of relaxation out of this place.

"Taako!"

It’s Lup calling him. He considers getting up. She is swatting ineffectually at his shoulder. He opens one eye. She isn't looking at him, staring fixedly in front of her.

"Taako! I'm having a Feeling."

He yawns and closes his eye again.

"Can't be. We already had a feeling last week, 'member. The crayfish bake? That was good." He rolls over on the beach towel they are sharing.

"No Taako. It's a Feeling. And it's not about food. Real mushy one too." She sounds strange. An edge of fascination and disgust, wrapped in confusion. Taako looks up at her. She’s actually blushing. Or maybe getting a sunburn, that could be it too. But she wasn’t this red five minutes ago. She’s staring fixedly in front of her, eyes on the waves coming in. On the waves and on one Barry J. Bluejeans, emerging from the sea like some jeansclad merman. There’s some kind of kelp in his hair, but Taako’s pretty sure that is not why his sister is staring. Staring and blushing. Oh boy. Well, it’s about time.

“What kinda mushy?” he asks, putting all the casual unconcern into the words he can.

Lup’s still staring. “All warm and fuzzy in like a super weird way.”

“Huh,” says Taako, looking down at his nails, “must be sunstroke.”

“No Taako, it feels good. Like anger but happy? All explody warm and I don’t know why.”

Taako manfully resists an epic eyeroll. Sure, it was the planar verse’s greatest mystery why his doofus of a sister could possibly be feeling the warm and fuzzies while staring at Bluejeans who was dorkily waving at them with seaweed in his hair. He’s gonna make fun of her so hard when she finally realises. Today might not be the day though, because she’s got a frustrated frown on her face. He decides to be magnanimous and take pity on her.

“Hey Lup, I think that kelp in Barold’s hair might be carnivorous. Should we tell him?”

For his kindness he gets sand kicked into his face as she runs to save Barry from the perils of an inanimate plant. Taako doesn’t mind though, because the look on Barry’s face as Lup tackles him to the ground is payback enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taako dealt with these two goobers for so long. I don't know how he managed.
> 
> We're nearly to the end of my pre-written Stolen Century chapters. Maybe one or two more and then there's time skip to post canon!
> 
> Did you enjoy reading this? How often do you think Lup nearly came to this realisation? Thought of a scene I can't possibly leave unwritten before we do the timeskip? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> And as always, thanks for reading!


	6. The Fake Marriage Cycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Taako sighs a deep internal sigh. Any moment now, Lup’s gonna convince herself that getting the light is a great excuse to spend a year married to Bluejeans. Taako’s going to have to endure both of them freaking out about marriage at him. It's gonna be a disaster. He has to stop this._
> 
> AKA The Fake Marriage Cycle

So they arrived on this plane on a super important day. The most important day, in fact. Today the inhabitants of this plane hold their most important ritual and everyone they’ve met so far is super excited about it. It’s a ceremonial marriage, two chosen emissaries to bind their hands and fates to ensure the sun will stay true to the sky. The finest gifts will be offered to those who take on that burden. Except this year the bride ran away with a bridesmaid, leaving the groom to swear that should any other citizen take his place in the ritual, the sea will swallow the sun forever. This apparently never happened before and the local religion places great stock in curses, especially when made from the ceremonial altar by the ceremonial groom. So there was a lot of despair going around, when the Starblaster landed in a field outside the city.

Of course, the IPRE crew aren’t citizens, which the folk in the funny hats were very quick to point out. This is the warmest welcome they’ve ever gotten, and that includes Jello World. All these people suddenly saw a loophole in the prophecy that was gonna doom them. Of course, they’re still doomed what with the Hunger lurking and all, but they don’t need to know that. And they’re not entirely doomed, anyway. The prime wedding gift for this year is the Light. Sometimes the solution is the best for everyone. Even if it includes a sham wedding.

Taako sees the sideways glances Lup keeps throwing Barry’s way, sees the blush on Bluejean’s cheeks. He sighs a deep internal sigh. Merle is stalling, talking about the many marriages he’s officiated. Any moment now, Lup’s gonna convince herself that getting the light is a great excuse to spend a year married to Bluejeans. Taako’s going to have to endure both of them freaking out about marriage at him. It would be a disaster. They’re not even ready to admit to liking each other, a forced marriage would ruin everything. Taako’s not gonna let that happen. Steeling himself, he steps forward and, cursing sisters and future-brother-in-laws alike, Taako takes one for the team.

“Well that’s an interesting coincidence,” he says, projecting as much charm as possible at the folks in the funky robes. “Hail and well met, my name is Taako and this must be a sign, because I…” he lets a dramatic silence fall while he turns to his team. His eyes skid past Lup, past Bluejeans. Who would be best? He looks at Merle. Hell no. Davenport. Could be hilarious, but no. It’s Magnus’ turn to stay on the ship. Also, he can’t act for shit. His eyes fall on Lucretia. Not perfect, but it’ll do. “I have been waiting for this opportunity for a very long time.” He falls to his knees dramatically.

“Lucretia, _Light_ ” (he makes sure to emphasize)”of my life. Will you marry me?”

Lucretia, who took a step back when he fell to his knees in front of her, is at least enough of a smart cookie to get his plan, blushes and drops her eyes demurely.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It can't have been that they lived 90 cycles and not gotten fake married at least once, right?


	7. Fake marriage, real revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako is getting fake married to Lucretia and Lup is not happy about it.

Taako was having far too much fun with this whole wedding thing. Not only was he scamming the locals into giving their ceremonial groom their life savings, but he also kept on dunking on Lup just because he managed to get married before she could.

Sure, Lup would allow him to have his fun, particularly to see Lucretia twitch every time Taako went around loudly calling her “my _wife_ ”. But after the fifth time of Taako giggling at her because he managed to get a girlfriend before she did, she felt like pushing him off the Starblaster deck. It wasn’t even as if Lup particularly wanted a girlfriend right now. Sure, this plane was full of pretty girls, but none of them felt right. Yesterday one of the bridesmaids was definitely coming on to Lup (which really made Lup wonder. Did they pick the bridesmaids to be into women specifically? Was that what they were doing here, because there were some serious flaws in that method.) But anyway, a pretty girl was batting her eyelashes at Lup and all Lup wanted was go back to the team to show off how awesome she looked in the trailing bridesmaid robes. Because of course Lup had to be Taako’s bridesmaid. She wasn’t gonna let her baby brother get married without her by his side, fake marriage or not. Taako was definitely going to throw a tantrum on the day of, whether because of real stress or just the entertainment value, and none of these innocent pretty bridesmaids deserved to have to deal with that. And also Lucretia really needed her help. Badly. She might have grown a lot in the last decades, but she still didn’t feel overly comfortable with so many people. Particularly when they all had opinions on her clothes and tried to touch her hair. So Lup steals Lucretia away as often as she can, for team meetings and spa days and ritual holidays she makes up on the spot. The folk here are kinda gullible, it’s really cute.

Lup’s kinda annoyed at Taako, that he didn’t talk over his plan before springing the marriage proposal on Lucretia. If they bought Taako being into Lucretia, someone else could have taken the spot in the marriage ceremony. Like Magnus, or something. Or even Barry. Hell, if they believed Lucretia would willingly marry Taako and that they were in love, they would’ve also bought Barry and Lup getting married. That would have been so much better. Lup wouldn’t have felt half so uncomfortable being in the spotlight as the bride as Lucretia does. How could she be, if Barry was the one she was marrying. Fake marrying, of course. Being around Barry always made Lup feel comfortable. And Barry was the only one who was properly appreciative of Lup’s bridesmaid dress. Sure, Magnus high-fived her, but Barry said she looked _pretty_.

That’s the kind of behaviour a fake husband should exhibit, not terrorising all the groomsmen because they refuse to go fishing in ballgowns or whatever Taako is doing that made the religious head honcho lock himself up in his altar-room. God, someday Taako is going to get married for real and Lup is going to tell his fiancé every single embarrassing thing about this. She’s gonna get Lucretia and do a speech together with a friggen fantasy power point that outlines each and every one of Taako’s ridiculous groomzilla behaviours. And then she’s gonna make sure that she gets to make his wedding cake and make it better than he’ll ever be able to. So everyone will see who deserves the title of Best Chef in the family. Her brother’s wedding, his real wedding, is going to be magnificent. And then Lup will dance with Taako and with his new husband and then she’s going to force Barry onto the dancefloor to laugh at his awkward dance moves and then she’s going to laugh and he’s going to blush and Lup is going to make them both look good anyway and then… Lup’s not really sure where she’s going with this. Her thoughts have kind of strayed from the karmic revenge she’s going to enact on her brother for this whole ridiculous wedding. But why wait until Taako finally finds someone good enough to settle down with? Lup’s going to go and find where Lucretia is hiding and make a plan for the very moment the Light is safely in their ship. Maybe Barry too. It’d be nice to have him on her side with this. Suppressing a devious smile, Lup walks off in search of her dear co-conspirators.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is particularly for those who so swiftly left comments on the previous chapter, since it inspired me to continue the fake marriage arc instead of letting it stand as a joke on its own. Thank you guys!
> 
> Please leave me a comment and talk to me about Lup's extremely persistent denial.
> 
> As always, Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a real short one, but necessary to start the story. The Pov of every story will be different.
> 
> Next up: Lucretia and Lup go shopping!
> 
> I can't wait till the moment they're all friends and the fluff really hits!
> 
> I'd love to know what you thought and as always, thanks for reading!


End file.
